Monday, January 28, 2013 and letting go

"Many times when we help we do not really serve...serving is also different from fixing. Abraham Maslow said, 'If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.' Seeing yourself as a fixer may cause you to see brokenness everywhere, to sit in judgment of life itself. When we fix others, we may not see their hidden wholeness or trust the integrity of the life in them. Fixers trust their own expertise. When we serve, we see the unborn wholeness in others; we collaborate with it and strengthen it. Others may then be able to see their wholeness for themselves for the first time." 
Rachel Naomi Remen

When a child grows up, a parent is faced with questions. Do I hold on a bit longer? The harbor is dark and the sea beyond, vast. Is this precious soul ready? Or is my grasp selfish? Am I helping or tending to my own fear and own need for control? And with this, ushering my child into victimhood. Or laziness.

The answers are complex. Ideally, we send our children out in faith...but we have their backs. Quietly, so as not to undermine their confidence. These babies we once held close to our hearts now dance uncoupled and we hold them in our hearts.

I am thankful for those who've trusted the unwritten chapters of my life to the great mystery. Who've neither hammered nor manipulated. For humility and compassion are born in the dark. In the wilderness, courage and perseverance take root. And, with these...eventually...forgiveness for all the rest is born. May I return the favor.

For all those times I have not, mea culpa. Mea extremis culpa.


BrightSoul said...

Thank you for these thoughts...had to pass them on on my FB page for my kids...and friends..

Celeste Bracewell said...

Thank you...glad to stay in touch.

GretchenJoanna said...

That desire to have their backs is a great prayer-prompter!

I pray you are prospering in the Lord, dear friend.